Just me and the Italian Sea!!!
(continued with…more Italian adventures)
The restaurants close at 2:30 after lunch and reopen at 7pm, which is why I lose weight in Italy. Not many blonde people here. Men are way better looking than women. You are not allowed to pour your own wine. Italians think it’s strange to see a woman eating alone in a restaurant, especially in a smaller town. My favorites Sienna, Cascia, Assisi, St. Francis Doves, St Rita, Rapallo, the hike from Portofino the hike in Cinque Terre and the spaghetti, the stray cats near the sea, Stephano, Cillo and Randy. The cars are tiny and the streets are even more tiny. Lots of cute shoes and bathing suits! All bathing suits are French cut. Men are always looking at your chest. Store owners smoke while they ring up the sale. No pepper on the table, no Mexican food and definitely no hot wings. Wine is cheaper than water. Italians say Prego a lot, I found out it means ‘thank you’, but for a long time I thought they were telling me that I look pregnant, like in a fat sort of way, so I would stop eating the bread but drank more wine..go figure! The guys selling leather in San Lorenzo Market tell you they will give you a leather coat for free. One time I actually put one on said, Gracie and walked away. When I saw he wasn’t following me I went back and returned coat in exchange for a smile that said “I want YOU, you blonde American woman!” Every one’s teeth are yellow. People identify the name of the village by the particular Saint that lived there. If you mention that you want to go to Cascia, they will say.. “Oh Santa Rita! Si, Cascia!”“The terrain looks like Oregon. No one likes President Bush. The American shows on TV are dubbed in Italian. I watched part of a scary movie in Italian. Also, “An American Beauty” in English with Italian subtitles, so Stephano could practice his English. Cillo took me to sailboat races in Santa Margarita. Tony gave me his token regatta hat, which I still have! I just love the names of these towns. Everybody has yellow teeth and they need to floss. The waiters don’t like it when you put parmesan on top of your spaghetti with fish. No one has picked my pocket. I forgot how to have a conversation in English. I am now speaking broken English to Americans!? I cut off words, use parts of sentences, and wave my hands a lot more than I did in America. The guys in Venice are way cute. Randy was from England. Seems that his relatives either had an overbite or buck teeth, except Randy, he just needs a good cleaning, floss and whitener. OMG! I hope he doesn’t read this! It cost 1 million for a cup of café or a glass of vino. All the restaurants have a cover charge, because Europeans don’t like to tip and neither did I when I was in Italy because I paid the cover charge to eat dinner. I don’t like focaccia, too many holes , very holy.. hmm why don’t they use THAT bread in Mass? They don’t put mustard or catsup on anything; I was going to McDonalds just to see if they use catsup in Europe. The small villages are more fun that the cities. I can actually wash my own clothes by hand and be ok with it. Including jeans. The dirt that comes out of your clothes from washing by hand is either brown or greenI It’s rude to put your feet up on the bench across you on a train – the conductor will slap your hand, even if the seat has graffiti on it already. I’m tired of not hearing English around me. People don’t get drunk here. You have to walk too much and you lose that good buzz you had for the $2 liter of vino. Everyone has a cell phone.
